That's the truth, the last year and a half has been one wild ride! When I was the ripe old age of 21 my nephew who was 3 months old needed a place to live. Cory and I had been married for 3 years and had one child, Georgia Makae. We had been thinking about trying to get pregnant and then there was Nikolas. A sweet little boy who never had a thing to say. My older sister Darci is a Cocaine addict and had given birth to Nik on March 16 1998. He was almost 3 months old when she and her husband decided to go to Colorado and commit credit card fraud. She went to jail and the "friend" she decided to leave him with was no longer interested in babysitting. Luckily that "friend" remembered where my other sister lived and took Nik to her. That sister immediately called mom who picked him up directly. I was just graduating from The Utah College of Massage Therapy when all this was happening. So I wasn't there every minute but my mom and I have a good relationship and so I was well informed. I also spent a lot of time at my moms house teaching her infant massage on the darling little guy. Cory and I almost immediately began to think of taking and raising Nik. Unfortunately this was not Darci's first child, nor the first abandonment our family had witnessed. Nik has a full sister just two years older than him and two older half brothers. When Nik was 6 months old my parents were planning a weekend away and needed a babysitter. Cory and I were happy to keep Nik for the weekend. We went to my other sister's cabin in southern Utah for the weekend. We had a great time. We had fallen in love with Nik and discussed at length our feelings for him. When we got home we sat down with my parents and they were thrilled. In fact they said they had been praying for the same thing.
Over the next 12 years I have learned more then I ever thought was possible or necessary about boys, addicts, courts, family, selfishness and myself. Just to name a few. The road has been rough at times but I am so grateful for my family. The family I was born into and the family I have been blessed to help create.
On the 28th of February 2009 we were blessed to have Nikolas Preston Law sealed to our family. Cory and I's son, as if he was born to us. No different then our daughters. What a beautiful day! After we enjoyed ourselves at the Salt Lake City Temple and went out as a family. Later that night I got back in the car and headed to American Fork Hospital. Just a week before that day Cory and I were driving home from Phoenix. My mom called and told us Darci had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. The baby was addicted to Cocaine and the state had been called. Darci had to find a home for her bay within the family or she would be put in foster care. We knew Darci was expecting and had discussed what the options were. I suppose it sounds very strange to discuss the options for someone else's baby but this was her sixth baby. After several hours of talk and prayer we called my mother back and said we would take her. But to prepare herself because we would be following all of the states rules. And by that we meant, we would stick to the visiting schedule and so forth.
The day after we got home from Phoenix we went to the hospital to see her. We also started the first of many visits with DCFS. The department of children and family services. Our lives were forever changed. When she was eight days old we brought her home from the hospital. We adored her and made sure she had every comfort and that she knew she was loved. I spent many hours snuggling her in my favorite rocking chair whispering in her ear, "mommy loves you." I didn't know then, exactly who her mother would be in the long run, but I wanted her to KNOW she was loved.
It took quite a while to get foster certified, but it was very informative. The classes would have been helpful to us when we first took Nik, but Utah had different regulations back then and would not get involved with Nik's case. It was a very long year, visits with "mom," case workers, at my home and the office, and doctors; not to mention being a wife and mother to our four other kids, and running our household as well. It was very emotional, never knowing if and/or when the judge was going to take her out of our home and give her"mom" an opportunity to (lets be brutally honest here) neglect her. I know that must sound awful but my son and I, and our whole family has suffered because Darci was allowed to neglect Nik.
There was also the difficulty of trying not to get attached because she was not yet my daughter, and trying to explain that to my kids. Everyone of them were falling madly in love with her as well as Cory and I. Can you imagine telling your kids, "She is not ours and we don't know if we get to keep her."? My two year old especially, who had completely bonded with her; and then there is Nik, you could see the love in his eyes. Having this little baby to love on and to protect, created a lot of much needed conversation. He would ask questions about her and I think they were questions from his heart and mind that he had been afraid to ask; now he could ask them on her behalf. It has truly been a healing experience.
Only a few months into this experience, however, we added to the complexity by taking my younger sister's one-year-old boy. That's right my younger sister is a Meth addict. The state had become involved with her as well and since I was a family member and foster licensed she called me. So, for a period of four months I had my own daughter Ivy, who was two, my younger sister's son, Paxton-one, and my older sister's daughter-the newborn. Two, one, zero. need I say more? I was just about a crazy person. Actually, I did miraculously well. I spent more time rocking, reading, and snuggling with those three babies then I did cooking or cleaning. My family was amazing. They all pitched in, there were so few complaints I almost didn't recognize them.Even though they were awesome it didn't take long to realize I could not keep him too. I loved Paxton deeply and still do but I knew the best thing for him, if his mother didn't straighten up, would be to find him a home that would be perfect. We were introduced to an amazing couple who ended up adopting him, and now he has a little brother too.
In the end (or beginning) Darci would not stop taking the narcotic prescriptions the judge ordered her too. So, in May 2010 we finalized the adoption and took Elle Sophia Law to the Salt Lake City temple to become our daughter for time and all eternity.
Over the next 12 years I have learned more then I ever thought was possible or necessary about boys, addicts, courts, family, selfishness and myself. Just to name a few. The road has been rough at times but I am so grateful for my family. The family I was born into and the family I have been blessed to help create.
On the 28th of February 2009 we were blessed to have Nikolas Preston Law sealed to our family. Cory and I's son, as if he was born to us. No different then our daughters. What a beautiful day! After we enjoyed ourselves at the Salt Lake City Temple and went out as a family. Later that night I got back in the car and headed to American Fork Hospital. Just a week before that day Cory and I were driving home from Phoenix. My mom called and told us Darci had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. The baby was addicted to Cocaine and the state had been called. Darci had to find a home for her bay within the family or she would be put in foster care. We knew Darci was expecting and had discussed what the options were. I suppose it sounds very strange to discuss the options for someone else's baby but this was her sixth baby. After several hours of talk and prayer we called my mother back and said we would take her. But to prepare herself because we would be following all of the states rules. And by that we meant, we would stick to the visiting schedule and so forth.
The day after we got home from Phoenix we went to the hospital to see her. We also started the first of many visits with DCFS. The department of children and family services. Our lives were forever changed. When she was eight days old we brought her home from the hospital. We adored her and made sure she had every comfort and that she knew she was loved. I spent many hours snuggling her in my favorite rocking chair whispering in her ear, "mommy loves you." I didn't know then, exactly who her mother would be in the long run, but I wanted her to KNOW she was loved.
It took quite a while to get foster certified, but it was very informative. The classes would have been helpful to us when we first took Nik, but Utah had different regulations back then and would not get involved with Nik's case. It was a very long year, visits with "mom," case workers, at my home and the office, and doctors; not to mention being a wife and mother to our four other kids, and running our household as well. It was very emotional, never knowing if and/or when the judge was going to take her out of our home and give her"mom" an opportunity to (lets be brutally honest here) neglect her. I know that must sound awful but my son and I, and our whole family has suffered because Darci was allowed to neglect Nik.
There was also the difficulty of trying not to get attached because she was not yet my daughter, and trying to explain that to my kids. Everyone of them were falling madly in love with her as well as Cory and I. Can you imagine telling your kids, "She is not ours and we don't know if we get to keep her."? My two year old especially, who had completely bonded with her; and then there is Nik, you could see the love in his eyes. Having this little baby to love on and to protect, created a lot of much needed conversation. He would ask questions about her and I think they were questions from his heart and mind that he had been afraid to ask; now he could ask them on her behalf. It has truly been a healing experience.
Only a few months into this experience, however, we added to the complexity by taking my younger sister's one-year-old boy. That's right my younger sister is a Meth addict. The state had become involved with her as well and since I was a family member and foster licensed she called me. So, for a period of four months I had my own daughter Ivy, who was two, my younger sister's son, Paxton-one, and my older sister's daughter-the newborn. Two, one, zero. need I say more? I was just about a crazy person. Actually, I did miraculously well. I spent more time rocking, reading, and snuggling with those three babies then I did cooking or cleaning. My family was amazing. They all pitched in, there were so few complaints I almost didn't recognize them.Even though they were awesome it didn't take long to realize I could not keep him too. I loved Paxton deeply and still do but I knew the best thing for him, if his mother didn't straighten up, would be to find him a home that would be perfect. We were introduced to an amazing couple who ended up adopting him, and now he has a little brother too.
In the end (or beginning) Darci would not stop taking the narcotic prescriptions the judge ordered her too. So, in May 2010 we finalized the adoption and took Elle Sophia Law to the Salt Lake City temple to become our daughter for time and all eternity.
